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Deletion Rod
The Deletion Rod, also called the Rod of Jesse, is TurtleShroom's supernatural staff, the ''staff of office'' for the Dictator Emeritus of the Club Penguin Wiki, a weapon, and a Jones family heirloom. It is an ancient, durable wooden rod with a crook at the end, and sports a red-colored "W" upon it. TurtleShroom always carries it in his inventory. It is most known (and feared) for its ability to either remove or render incapacitated those hit or blasted with it. Overview The Rod of Jesse can be traced back for centuries, and probably further. Since the history of TurtleShroom's Family is not well kept, and since said family did not become important until the 1950s, the exact time of creation isn't known. The family entertains the existence of a legend regarding the Rod, however, in that a "worthy Lesser"- a Jones ancestor and perhaps a patriarch -was granted a "mighty artifact" by a council of High Penguins as a gesture of friendship between the often polarized species. The Rod was entrusted to this Lesser because "his heart was in the right place", and he could be "trusted" with such an item because "he was a pure and upright bird". The council said "they could see it". From there, and centuries or more after, each Jones family member would hand off the Rod to another worthy descendant when they were "ready". If no posterity were "pure" enough, the previous Jones would carry the Rod to his grave if he had to, only to have the staff exhumed and handed to another when he came (so far, it's always been a he). Powers The Deletion Rod's power has three "flavors", so to speak. *The first is in the Clubb Phengin Weekee. It has the ability, upon hitting or blasting a vandal, to teleport them far from the Weekee and add them to the console's ban list. These powers were actually added to it by assorted unknown technical geniuses and archaeologists, strangely working together to make it. *The second "flavor" is the Deletion Rod's main function. If an enemy is nearby, TurtleShroom can smack them with the Rod, and upon contact, the enemy will be knocked out cold for a short period of time, that time varying depending on the time of year (see section "Mysteries" below). *The third and most controversial function of the Deletion Rod is also the most conventional: corporal punishment. **TurtleShroom and the entire Jones Family have, for centuries, believed in not sparing the rod (or the Rod). The family administered it on the chicks as far back as they could remember. **Sometimes, it was hugely successful and ingrained the chick onto the straight and narrow. TammyShroom and HermeShroom, for example, would stop disobeying at the mere threat of a spanking. Other times, not so much: TurtleShroom and Tortugadesetas could both handle near-endless corporal punishment without changing their acts. The family used "other" methods on them (successful for TSP and failed for Tortuga). **TurtleShroom has stirred many anti-spanker goons into uproar over the years, because he has personally caned assorted vandals. The Inquisition is also rumored to use caning to get confessions. All in all, TurtleShroom normally wields the Rod in self-defense, and also in discipline. Even though it didn't work on him, TurtleShroom personally thinks that corporal punishment should be used more, not less, and when he was Dictator, many ended up receiving the business end of the Rod of Jesse. It's painful. Mysteries surrounding the Rod Astrological cycle The Rod is more powerful in the Clubb Phengin Weekee than elsewhere. Outside of the Weekee, the Rod administers basic pain in corporal punishment, and its more infamous knockout feature in defense. Normally, the knockout is brief, but depending on the time of year, the power can go up or down. On certain days, the Deletion Rod can even live up to its name. According to witness reports and astronomy, the calendar is pretty much written out. On Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, the first Sunday after the Paschal Full Moon, and June 27th, the Rod is at its peak of power. It is at its weakest on the Friday Friday before the Sunday of the Paschal Full Moon, Halloween, Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and April Fools' Day. On Easter Sunday and Christmas Day, the Rod has the capabilities of true deletion both in the Weekee and out. On Halloween, it is nothing but a simple staff, and Black Friday, April 1st, and Cyber Monday make it powerless in the Weekee. The Bureau of Fiction's Department of Science claims that these cycles are astro''logical'', not astronomical, effects from another universe. They are not sure exactly how it is formed or why, but the only lead they have is that the Rod's power cycle may be linked to TurtleShroom's obsession with crosses. * On Christmas Eve, the Rod is capable of knocking a victim out for forty eight hours. On Christmas Day, the Rod can delete victims or knock them out for a fortnight. * On Easter Sunday, the Rod can delete victims or knock them out for a month. * On June 27th, the Rod can knock victims out for up to a year. * As said, the Rod is powerless on Halloween, and greatly weakened on Cyber Monday, Black Friday, and April Fools' day. *On Tuesday 26th July, the Rod can shatter prototitanite, the compound that makes up Project X Mark 1's casing. Yes, prototitanite can be shattered! X is unaware of this. Source of power The Rod's power, and where it is derived from, is a complete mystery. *It is mostly assumed to be ancient High Penguin magic, but not everyone is convinced. *Some scholars theorize that TurtleShroom (or the rod's holder) is the source of the power, and the Rod just channels some form of energy from within him. *Others argue that the Rod is similar to the Elemental Amulets, in that it derives its power directly from what it is made for. For the Rod of Jesse, that would be order and purity. The more chaotic or corrupt a place is, the weaker the Rod, which would explain its failure to work properly in Maverick. *Still others present that the Rod's power is from another universe altogether, tied to TurtleShroom by an almighty being thought to have an equally heavy obsession with crosses. Whatever the source, all that is known is that the power is limitless and reusable, apparently. Name The name "Deletion Rod", in and of itself, is a bit strange, since the Rod can not delete for three hundred sixty three days of the year. However, the real mystery is why it is called the "Rod of Jesse". Who is Jesse, and why is it his Rod? The answer is unknown as of now, but the Bureau of Fiction managed to assert that the name is heavily tied to the cross obsession and represents an ancient and supernaturally guided order of doing things and behavior, but in another universe. Jesse is supposedly the son of an ancient human that had a family eventually leading to a prophesied, even more powerful human milleniums after Jesse and before the present day, far more powerful, apparently, than The Ones. However, the BOF isn't sure whether this is true, and indeed, not all of The Ones even subscribe to such an idea, according to the Board. (Although, the One considered tied to TurtleShroom seems to think this.) Criticism of corporal punishment :Main article: Miscarriages of justice by TurtleShroom Few contest the Rod's existence or TurtleShroom's right to hold it (for very obviosu reasons), but many are not fond of the idea of it being used as a generic punishment. In TurtleShroom's time, the Deletion Rod was used as a deterrent and symbol of both authority and rigid order on the CPW. Many, many users found themselves spanked by TurtleShroom, and it was very painful, and TurtleShroom never withheld the Rod from anyone. The main argument is the caning of innocents. TurtleShroom has, unintentionally, performed miscarriages of justice, including on Metalmanager and Sk8itbot when they was confused with Walrus McManager and his henchman (henchwalrus?). Tigernose, The Leader, and Seahearseruler were all caned in conspiracy cases, because they had "intent to overthrow the government". TurtleShroom even tried to cane Zone for a coup attempt... -but that was the mistake of his life. Zone took the Rod and caned him. TurtleShroom still has a scar on the back of his neck to prove it, and he doesn't like to talk about it. The Leader, himself a victim of miscarriage and an ardent opponent to corporal punishment, commented on it at one time: Trivia *TurtleShroom also bought a paddle. He prefers to use that on Mwa Mwa Penguins, because the Rod of Jesse is "too precious" to be wasted on the rears of such deformed creatures. *In real life, name "Rod of Jesse" is also a term for Jesus Christ. (He would come from Jesse's family tree. Jesse is a descendant of the Jewish Father Abraham/Abram, and of the Jewish Kind David. A rod can be a part of a tree.) It is used here as a religious inside-joke. See, the Rod represents TurtleShroom's power and lack of hesitation to use it. The Rod of Jesse- Jesus -is the means by which said user governs: by Biblical code (or at least, TS' interpretation of the Bible). Hence, the name. TurtleShroom uses his power according to religious principles and believes that authority is sacred. Contesting authority is contesting God to him(if that's the case than he does it a lot in RL because he fights his parents), and the Rod, representing authority, is Bibilically named because of RL TurtleShroom's religion. **'T.L.;D.R.': the Rod's name is a religious reference because the real TurtleShroom sees authority, dicipline and order as a religious mandate. *The "W" on the Rod stands for "Wiki", and matches the "W" on his crown. *TurtleShroom uses the rod as a deterrant. In Too Weird for Words, he threateningly tapped it against his flippers, like a teacher with a ruler, to show he was going to use force. *TurtleShroom is apparently stronger than he thinks: when he swung the Rod at Rocket Slug to defend Dara in Too Weird for Words, he knocked her across the room like a baseball. Rocket Slug then broke the wall a bit. Discovering or using unknown strength when provoked isn't unheard of amongst non-''physically'' violent penguins, but it's still impressive. *Metalmanager once compared TurtleShroom to a"strict headmaster" of a school, and he was the "sad kid in the back of the class". Considering TurtleShroom's love of corporal punishment, that's an excellent comparison. See also * Staff of Goofiness * TurtleShroom (penguin) * Too Weird for Words * Metaling in Chi Con * TurtleShroom's Family * Magic * Clubb Phengin Weekee * The Leader * Tigernose External links * wikipedia:Canes fpr spanking * Belts for spanking * Sticks for spanking * Corporal punishment * Judicial corporal punishment * Michael P. Fay * Paddling * TurtleShroom (user page) * Tree of Jesse (warning: religious) Category:Weapons Category:Items Category:Staves